Highway to Heaven – Season 3, Episode 6: Love at Second Sight

SORRY, OLD-TIMER JONATHAN SMITH TED SIMPSON! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? I’M STARTING AN ASSIGNMENT YOU’RE KIDDING SAME HERE I CAN’T HAVE ROY MEET HER WHY NOT? JONATHAN, THAT WOMAN IS MY WIFE! CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION, GENESIS ENTERTAINMENT, AND M&M/MARS, MAKERS OF SNICKERS BARS BE CAREFUL, GENTLEMEN MY HUSBAND GAVE ME THAT FOR OUR FIRST WEDDING ANNIVERSARY DON’T WORRY, MA’AM WE’LL BE EXTRA CAREFUL OK. THE PHONE’S BEEN DISCONNECTED AND THE GAS TURNED OFF, MOTHER NOW, LET’S SEE WHAT ELSE? I GUESS THAT’S IT TIME TO CLOSE UP THE HOUSE I’VE LIVED HERE FOR 35 YEARS, PEGGY I KNOW IT’S HARD FOR YOU TO LEAVE, BUT YOU’LL BE STARTING A WHOLE NEW LIFE AT CLEARVIEW LIFE BEGINS AT 40, NOT 100 OH, STOP IT YOU’RE A HEALTHY, ACTIVE WOMAN YOU’LL HAVE A BALL I DON’T WANT TO GO, PEG IT’S A LITTLE LATE FOR THAT, MOTHER WE’VE TALKED THIS OUT SO MANY TIMES BEFORE YOU’VE BEEN A HERMIT SINCE DAD DIED YOUR FRIENDS HAVE MOVED AWAY YOU MEAN PASSED AWAY MOTHER, I THOUGHT YOU DECIDED TO GIVE CLEARVIEW A CHANCE I KNOW IT’S JUST THAT I FEEL IT’S MY LAST STOP, DEAR IT’S NOT A CEMETERY IT’S A VITAL COMMUNITY THEY HAVE CERAMICS, ART CLASSES, DANCING, MEN! I NEVER LOOKED AT ANOTHER MAN WHEN YOUR FATHER WAS ALIVE I WON’T START NOW YOU HAVE TO START LIVING YOUR LIFE WITHOUT DADDY, MOM YOU CAN’T STOP LIVING I KNOW DADDY WOULD HAVE SAID THE SAME THING MRS. SWANN EVERYTHING’S READY TO GO THANK YOU JUST GIVE ME A MOMENT I’LL BE RIGHT OUT GOODBYE

SORRY ABOUT THAT, OLD-TIMER JONATHAN SMITH TED SIMPSON! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? I’M STARTING AN ASSIGNMENT YOU’RE KIDDING SAME HERE YOU LOOK LIKE A TOP EXECUTIVE FANCY CAR ANGELS ARE MOVING UP IN THE WORLD I GOT A SPECIAL ASSIGNMENT AND AN EXPENSE ACCOUNT WHERE I COME FROM, THE SKY’S THE LIMIT MAYBE WE CAN GET TOGETHER YOU BET LET’S DO IT HAVE A NICE DAY TED SIMPSON IS HE, UH YEAH. TAKE A LOOK AT THE LICENSE PLATE GOOD AFTERNOON IT CERTAINLY IS YOU’RE NEW? YES. I ARRIVED A FEW MINUTES AGO YOU’RE GOING TO LOVE IT HERE REALLY? IT’S ABSOLUTELY HEAVEN WELL, THAT’S INTERESTING I’VE ALWAYS HAD A DIFFERENT IMPRESSION OF HEAVEN I’M WINIFRED DUFFY FRIENDS CALL ME WINNIE I’M TED SIMPSON PLEASED TO MEET YOU, WINNIE I LIVE SEVERAL DOORS DOWN YOU AND YOUR WIFE SHOULD COME VISIT I’M ON MY OWN NOW OH! THEN YOU DEFINITELY MUST COME VISIT HEY, GET THAT MUTT OFF MY LAWN! I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THIS MUTT HAPPENS TO BE A PUREBRED COCKER SPANIEL, MR. GRANT I DON’T CARE IF IT’S RIN TIN TIN. LEASH HIM HERE, GOLDILOCKS COME HERE, SWEETHEART THAT’S ROY GRANT WE CALL HIM THE GRIM REAPER I CAN SEE WHY HE’S ONLY HAPPY WHEN THINGS ARE TERRIBLE HE’S FOUNDER, PRESIDENT, AND SOLE MEMBER OF HIS OWN LITTLE PESSIMIST CLUB CAN I OFFER YOU AN ICE TEA? UH, NOT NOW, BUT MAYBE LATER I LIVE AT 1623 COME OVER ANYTIME THANK YOU FOR YOUR HOSPITALITY DON’T MAKE YOURSELF SCARCE LET’S GO HOME, GOLDILOCKS THOSE ARE NICE-LOOKING TOMATOES YEAH? WATCH OUT FOR THAT OTHER TOMATO WINIFRED? SHE’S A VULTURE EXCUSE ME? WHEN A MAN’S WIFE DIES, SHE’S AT HIS HOUSE OFFERING CONDOLENCES, BROWNIES, FLOWERS, THE WHOLE NINE YARDS SHE SEEMS PRETTY CONSIDERATE SHE’S A GOLD DIGGER WIDOWS–YOU’VE GOT TO BE CAREFUL OF THEM WHERE THERE’S A WILL, THERE’S A WIDOW I’M TED SIMPSON I MOVED IN A FEW HOUSES DOWN WELL, THAT’S YOUR PROBLEM YOU LIKE IT HERE? STINKS WHAT’S NOT TO LIKE? GOLF, TENNIS, GREAT WEATHER, TEMPERATURES IN THE 70s AND 80s SO ARE ALL THE PEOPLE HE ISN’T GOING TO BE EASY I’M GLAD YOU’RE HERE WE’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR AN INTERIM RECREATION DIRECTOR WE’RE READY TO START WORK WE HAVE A VERY LARGE AND ACTIVE COMMUNITY HERE DON’T BE SURPRISED IF THEY KEEP YOU BUSY WE’LL TRY TO KEEP AHEAD OF THEM GOOD IF YOU NEED ME, JUST RING I’LL DO IT. THANKS HEY, THIS IS PRETTY NICE, YOU KNOW I WOULDN’T GET TOO COMFORTABLE WE’VE GOT WORK TO DO THIS JOB’S A SNAP WELL, WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THAT? JONATHAN, ATHLETIC DIRECTOR IN A RETIREMENT COMMUNITY? THAT’S AS DEMANDING AS BEING A VICE COP IN A CONVENT YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LAST ATHLETIC DIRECTOR? HE PROBABLY GOT OUT OF SHAPE FROM SITTING AROUND NO. HE DIED THE OLD FOLKS WERE IN BETTER SHAPE THAN HE WAS COME ON. LET’S GO MY ASSIGNMENT SHOULD BE HERE ANY MINUTE

EXCUSE ME MRS. SWANN? MY NAME IS JONATHAN SMITH I’M THE NEW RECREATION DIRECTOR MARK GORDON, ATHLETIC DIRECTOR VERY NICE MEETING YOU THIS IS MY DAUGHTER MARGARET HI WE WANTED TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO WELCOME YOU TO CLEARVIEW THAT’S VERY THOUGHTFUL I BROUGHT ALONG THIS WEEK’S SCHEDULE OF EVENTS THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE IT I APPRECIATE THAT WE’VE GOT GOLF, SHUFFLEBOARD, CROQUET AND AEROBICS, LONG DISTANCE RUNNING, SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING I’M NOT ATHLETICALLY INCLINED, MR. SMITH IT’S ALL JUST FOR FUN KEEPS YOU IN SHAPE I SEE WELL, I’LL THINK ABOUT IT WE’RE HAVING SQUARE DANCING TOMORROW NIGHT SQUARE DANCING SOUNDS LIKE FUN I’VE NEVER DONE IT SO? YOU CAN LEARN MARGARET, I CAN’T GO BY MYSELF I DON’T KNOW ANYONE THAT’S THE WHOLE IDEA– GET EVERYBODY TO MEET ONE ANOTHER I SEE WELL, I’LL THINK ABOUT IT ALL RIGHT WE’LL SEE YOU AROUND THANK YOU I’LL BE RIGHT BACK, MOTHER, OK? MR. SMITH MR. SMITH, YOU SHOULD KNOW, WHEN MY MOTHER SAYS, “I’LL THINK ABOUT IT,” IT MEANS NO IT MIGHT TAKE PUSHING TO GET HER INVOLVED I UNDERSTAND AND DON’T WORRY– WE DON’T DISCOURAGE EASILY THANK YOU HELLO THERE, ROY WINNIE GET YOU TO PUT HER IN HER WILL YET? NOT SO FAR SHE’S BEEN MARRIED THREE TIMES SINCE I’VE BEEN HERE EVERY ONE OF HER HUSBANDS CROAKED AND LEFT MONEY LEFT IT ALL TO WINNIE THE POOH THERE THANKS I’LL BE CAREFUL UH, ROY ARE YOU GOING TO THE DANCE TONIGHT? COULDN’T BE BOTHERED WHY NOT? ALL THOSE FOGIES JUMPING AROUND LIKE TEENAGERS THEY OUGHT TO GROW UP AND ACT THEIR AGE AW, DANCING’S FUN KEEPS YOU YOUNG LAST TIME I DANCED WAS OVER FOUR YEARS AGO WITH BARBARA BARBARA? MY WIFE. SHE, UH PASSED ON WELL, I’M SORRY ME AND YOU BOTH, MY FRIEND SHE WAS A GREAT GAL LOVED TO WALTZ I LIKED TO CHA-CHA MYSELF I WASN’T VERY GOOD AT IT, BUT BABS AND ME SURE HAD A GOOD TIME SO YOU DO LIKE TO DANCE, HUH? DID. DON’T NOW COME ON, ROY LET’S GO TO THE DANCE TONIGHT I WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO I’D STAND AROUND A GREAT-LOOKING GUY LIKE YOU? YOU’D HAVE THE LADIES STANDING IN LINE THERE WAS A TIME I BET THERE WAS COME ON TED SIMPSON AND ROY GRANT, LADY-KILLERS AT LARGE LET’S GO TO THE DANCE AND BREAK SOME HEARTS COME ON! HECK. WHY NOT? NOW YOU’RE TALKING, PARTNER ♪ BOW TO YOUR PARTNER CORNER, TOO ♪ ♪ CIRCLE TO THE LEFT GO ‘ROUND AGAIN… ♪♪ LAURA SHOW UP YET? NO. I THINK WHAT HER DAUGHTER SAID IS TRUE WHAT DID SHE SAY? WHEN HER MOTHER SAYS, “I’LL THINK ABOUT IT,” SHE REALLY MEANS “NO.” WHERE ARE YOU GOING? TO ESCORT MRS. SWANN TO THE DANCE [KNOCK ON DOOR] MRS. SWANN OH, MR. SMITH

I KNEW YOU WANTED TO GO TO THE DANCE BUT COULDN’T YET GET A WESTERN OUTFIT YES, UH…YES I-I WANTED TO GO, UH MAYBE ANOTHER TIME THAT’S WHAT A RECREATION DIRECTOR’S FOR WHAT’S THIS? A WESTERN DRESS FROM OUR GUILD’S PRODUCTION OF OKLAHOMA BRING IT BACK ANYTIME OH THAT’S VERY KIND OF YOU, MR. SMITH YOU SHOULDN’T GO TO ALL THIS TROUBLE NO PROBLEM I’LL WAIT OUTSIDE WHILE YOU CHANGE WELL, ALL RIGHT I’LL BE BACK IN A FEW MINUTES OK I FEEL STUPID IN THESE CLOTHES YOU LOOK GREAT HAVE SOME PUNCH TO LOOSEN UP WELL, LOOK WHO’S HERE–TED SIMPSON OH, IS THAT HIM? OH, HE IS HANDSOME, WINIFRED HE LOOKS RICH ENERGETIC AND YOUNG WHO’S THAT HE’S WITH? I DON’T BELIEVE IT IT’S THE GRIM REAPER NOW AREN’T YOU GLAD YOU CAME? I DON’T KNOW YET HOW ABOUT SOME PUNCH? YES, PLEASE, MR. SMITH I’LL BE RIGHT BACK HEY, TED PLEASE MEET MY FRIEND, ROY GRANT JONATHAN SMITH PLEASURE TO MEET YOU LIKEWISE. GREAT PUNCH I GOT TO HIT THE JOHN HOW’S YOUR ASSIGNMENT DOING? GOING FINE SHE LOST HER HUSBAND A FEW YEARS BACK AND HASN’T GOTTEN OVER IT SHE NEEDS SOMEBODY WHO’LL BRING HER OUT GREAT ROY’S MY ASSIGNMENT HE LOST HIS WIFE HE’S HAD HIS NOSE IN A BOOK EVER SINCE THE BOSS HAS MADE THIS ONE EASY FOR US LET’S FIND ROY AND INTRODUCE THEM HERE YOU GO THERE’S SOMEONE I’D LIKE YOU TO MEET ROY GRANT, THIS IS LAURA SWANN HELLO, MR. GRANT HELLO HERE’S MY FRIEND TED SIMPSON A PLEASURE YES JONATHAN CAN I SEE YOU FOR A MOMENT? WHAT’S WRONG? I CAN’T FIX ROY UP WITH THAT WOMAN WHY NOT? JONATHAN, THAT WOMAN IS MY WIFE SHE DIDN’T EVEN RECOGNIZE ME SHE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO THAT’S WHY YOU’RE GIVEN A DIFFERENT BODY BUT WHY THIS ONE? WHAT? MY BODY WAS MUCH TALLER WITH BIG SHOULDERS, A CLASS ACT VANITY DOESN’T FIT VERY WELL IN THIS JOB I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M FIXING UP SOME OLD GOAT WITH MY WIFE! THE BOSS HAS HIS REASONS WELL, I’D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT THEY ARE BOSS, ARE YOU LISTENING? I WAS SENT HERE TO HELP ROY GRANT LIVE A FULLER LIFE, BUT DOES IT HAVE TO BE WITH MY WIFE? DO YOU HEAR ANYTHING? NO WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? WHY ARE YOU UPSET? THEY WERE HAVING A GOOD TIME JONATHAN, THAT HUSBAND WHO DIED AND WHO LAURA CAN’T GET OVER IS ME I LIKE IT THAT WAY THAT’S REALLY A SELFISH ATTITUDE, DON’T YOU THINK? DON’T YOU START JUDGING ME THAT ISN’T YOUR WIFE IN THERE DANCING WITH THAT ZOMBIE I WAS THINKING OF LAURA HE’S NO GOOD FOR HER HE’D MAKE HER MISERABLE YOU’RE SURE OF THAT? YOU BET I AM I’M NERVOUS I HAVEN’T DATED SINCE HIGH SCHOOL, AND THAT WAS WITH MY WIFE MAYBE YOU BETTER CALL IT OFF YEAH, MAYBE NO. I’M NOT GOING TO BE A COWARD OH? WELL, NOW, ROY I’VE HAD A LOT OF EXPERIENCE WITH WOMEN I CAN READ THEM WELL

YOU WANT SOME POINTERS? HEY, I’D APPRECIATE THAT, TED THIS LAURA SWANN STRIKES ME AS THE KIND OF WOMAN WHO LIKES A LOT OF MONEY COUNTS ME OUT IF YOU WANT TO PAY FOR QUALITY IN YOUR LIFE, YOU NEED MONEY LAURA SWANN IS A QUALITY WOMAN YOU KNOW, WHEN SHE GOES OUT TO EAT, SHE DOESN’T WANT DINNER SHE WANTS CUISINE JEWELRY LOTS OF JEWELRY I’M A RETIRED POSTAL WORKER ON FIXED INCOME I CAN’T AFFORD FANCY RESTAURANTS AND JEWELRY DON’T TELL HER THAT TELL HER YOU’RE A RETIRED BIG SHOT WITH OVERSEAS INVESTMENTS WHO OWNS ONE BLACK, BORING $39 SUIT DON’T WORRY YOU CAN BORROW MINE IT’S SILK, MADE IN HONG KONG NO, I COULDN’T DO THAT YOU CAN IF YOU WANT THIS WOMAN WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY CUISINE? NOW, LISTEN LISTEN, I KNOW A VERY FINE RESTAURANT NEAR HERE YOU CALL IN AHEAD AND ORDER YOUR DINNER LAURA WILL BE VERY, VERY IMPRESSED YEAH? WHAT SHOULD I ORDER? THE BEST THING ON THE MENU OYSTERS ROCKEFELLER, VEAL SCALOPPINE SHE’LL LIKE THAT? ROY BOY, SHE’LL LOVE IT YOU LOOK VERY BEAUTIFUL THANK YOU, ROY I LIKE YOUR SUIT, ROY OH, THIS? UH I HAD THESE MADE BY THE DOZEN WHEN I WAS IN HONG KONG YOU WERE IN HONG KONG? REGULARLY OIL BUSINESS YOU KNOW, BEFORE I RETIRED HERE WE ARE– TWO OYSTERS ROCKEFELLER ENJOY I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND I ORDERED AHEAD UH…OH, YES, UH WELL, TO BE VERY HONEST– IS SOMETHING WRONG? I, UH…I’M NOT CRAZY ABOUT OYSTERS OH, I’M SORRY WELL, THAT’S ALL RIGHT DON’T BE SORRY YOU GO AHEAD. I’LL WAIT FOR THE ENTREE ACTUALLY, I LIKE EVERYTHING EXCEPT OYSTERS AND VEAL SCALOPPINE ROY, ROY. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? WENT DOWN THE WRONG WAY I SEE THANKS FOR DINNER I’M SORRY OF ALL THE THINGS I COULD HAVE ORDERED IT’S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS YOU FORGIVE ME THEN? NOTHING TO FORGIVE YOU FOR I HAD A WONDERFUL TIME I’M GLAD STILL WANT TO GO TO THE SQUARE DANCE CLASS? OF COURSE I DO I’LL COME GET YOU ABOUT 2:45 SEE YOU THEN BYE-BYE. THANK YOU GOOD NIGHT WELL, HELLO THERE I’M TED SIMPSON WE MET AT THE SQUARE DANCE OH, YES YOU WENT OUT WITH OLD ROY LAST NIGHT, HUH? WELL, YES HE’S A GRAND OLD GUY HE BORROWED ONE OF MY SUITS TO TAKE YOU TO DINNER OH, YOU DID? YOU DON’T NEED A SUIT WHEN YOU WORK FOR THE POST OFFICE NO, NO I GUESS NOT WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME, PLEASE? YEAH. SURE [DOORBELL RINGS] ARE YOU READY, LAURA? OUR SQUARE DANCE CLASS STARTS SOON I’VE CHANGED MY MIND IS SOMETHING WRONG? I OVERHEARD THAT YOU WERE IN THE POST OFFICE, NOT IN THE OIL BUSINESS WHO TOLD YOU THAT? IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER IT’S TRUE IS IT? YEAH. I’M AFRAID IT IS WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME, ROY? I WANTED TO IMPRESS YOU LYING HAS NEVER IMPRESSED ME VERY MUCH IT WAS WRONG I APOLOGIZE, BUT IT DOESN’T CHANGE THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT YOU IT CHANGES THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT YOU YOU MUSTN’T RESPECT YOURSELF OR ME VERY MUCH IF YOU HAVE TO LIE ABOUT WHO YOU ARE

NOW IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME, I, UH I STILL HAVE SOME UNPACKING TO DO YOU LOOK LIKE THE KIND OF WOMAN WHO LOVES DAISIES HOW DID YOU KNOW? INTUITION LAURA, I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE YOU DO? FROM THE MOMENT WE MET, I LIKED YOU I FEEL COMFORTABLE BEING AROUND YOU I FEEL THAT WAY TOO, TED YOU KNOW, WE’VE ONLY BEEN TOGETHER ABOUT 10 MINUTES ALONE I FEEL I…WELL, I’VE KNOWN YOU MOST OF MY LIFE HOW ABOUT COMING TO DINNER WITH ME TOMORROW NIGHT? I CAN’T, TED WHY NOT? I WOULDN’T FEEL RIGHT YOU AND ROY GRANT ARE FRIENDS DON’T WORRY ABOUT UPSETTING ROY HE’LL GET OVER IT THAT’S WHAT OLD FRIENDS ARE ABOUT WHAT DO YOU SAY? ALL RIGHT THREE SPADES PASS PASS PASS YOU’RE IN FOR THREE SPADES, DEAR YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I SAW TODAY WHAT? WELL, THAT OH-SO-SWEET NEW GIRL LAURA SWANN SEEMS TO HAVE ALL THE MEN CHASING HER I SAW HER WITH TED SIMPSON TODAY BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE SEEING TED SIMPSON SO DID I, UNTIL THIS AFTERNOON FIRST SHE WAS WITH ROY GRANT AND NOW TED. REALLY SHE’S A LITTLE VIXEN, THAT ONE YOU’RE SO QUIET JUST ENJOYING THE EVENING WHEN I SAY DINING OUT, I MEAN JUST THAT THERE’S NOTHING LIKE EATING OUTDOORS UNDER THE STARS IT’S BEAUTIFUL, ISN’T IT? VERY IT’S SO PEACEFUL YES IT IS LAURA ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YES I’M SORRY. I-I IT JUST REMINDS ME OF A TIME VERY LONG AGO I KNOW YOU SEE, I FEEL THE SAME WAY NO, YOU DON’T YOU-YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND MY HUSBAND THERE COULD NEVER BE ANOTHER MAN IN MY LIFE NOT REALLY I JUST COULD NEVER FEEL THAT WAY AGAIN BUT YOU DO AND THAT’S WHAT’S BOTHERING YOU ISN’T IT? DON’T FEEL GUILTY BECAUSE YOU CAN LOVE AGAIN I CAN’T HELP IT I LOVE YOU, LAURA I’VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU WHAT? WHAT I-I MEAN FROM THE MOMENT WE MET, I KNEW WE WERE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER I WANT YOU TO MARRY ME I WANT US TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER AND EVER OH, TED, I– YOU DON’T HAVE TO ANSWER NOW JUST GIVE IT TIME PLEASE ALL RIGHT BUT NOT TOO MUCH TIME OH! OH, MY LORD! QUICK! COME ON! OH! OPEN THE DOOR! IT’S STUCK! OH, HURRY, PLEASE! OH! OH! WHAT IS THIS? JUST A CLOUDBURST OH! I WONDER WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS DOOR THAT’S FUNNY

WHAT’S FUNNY IS ME I’M SOAKED I’M SORRY IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT I’LL GO CHANGE I’LL BE BACK I’LL SEE ABOUT SALVAGING DINNER IF IT’S RUINED, WE CAN HAVE EGG SANDWICHES OH, I LOVE EGG SANDWICHES I’LL BE RIGHT BACK ME, TOO HELLO, TED HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, SMITH? I THINK YOU KNOW OH! THE RAIN, THAT LOCKED DOOR THAT WAS YOU NO. NO. THAT CAME FROM HIGHER UP WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING? THAT’S MY BUSINESS IT AFFECTS MY ASSIGNMENT AND YOURS THAT WAS A DIRTY TRICK, SETTING UP ROY TO HAVE LAURA FOR YOURSELF HE’LL GET OVER IT HOW DO YOU KNOW? YOU HUMILIATED HIM ALL’S FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR, AND I LOVE LAURA SHE’S MINE! YOU’RE NOT ACTING OUT OF LOVE IT’S JEALOUSY YOU WERE SENT TO RESTORE ROY’S FAITH IN HIMSELF YOU’VE DONE THE OPPOSITE PROVE YOU CAN DO THIS OR YOU’LL BE TAKEN OFF PROBATION FINE! COME ON YOU DON’T MEAN THAT OH, YES I DO I WON’T STAND BY AND LET MY WIFE MARRY ANOTHER MAN WE PROMISED THERE WOULD NEVER BE ANYONE ELSE THAT’S THE WAY IT’S GOING TO STAY I’VE ASKED LAURA TO MARRY ME YOU CAN’T DO THAT I CAN, IF HE’D LET ME AND SHE’D BE HAPPY WE’D BE TOGETHER AGAIN THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE HERE ON EARTH NOTHING’S IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM! IF HE WON’T ALLOW IT, IT’S HIS CONSCIENCE, NOT MINE IT’S TIME TO GO, TED GO WHERE? WHEREVER YOUR CHOICE HAS TAKEN YOU I PUT ON A ROBE I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND TED? TED? OH, LAURA MARGARET I’M SO SORRY, MARGARET MARGARET? SHE CAN’T SEE OR HEAR YOU, TED SO SOON SHE DIED SO SOON SHE DIED OF A BROKEN HEART WHAT? YOU DISAPPEARED SHE CAME BACK FROM CHANGING HER CLOTHES, AND YOU WERE GONE SHE LOVED YOU YOU SHOULD HAVE LET ME STAY WITH HER OH, NO YOU SHOULD HAVE LOVED HER ENOUGH TO WANT HER TO BE HAPPY, EVEN WITHOUT YOU WAIT WAIT LAURA, IT’S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT WE’LL BE TOGETHER AGAIN, JUST LIKE I SAID, FOREVER AND EVER I’M AFRAID YOU WON’T OF COURSE WE WILL SHE’S IN HEAVEN YES, SHE IS WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? IT’S TIME TO GO, TED GO WHERE, JONATHAN? GO WHERE? YOU HAVEN’T TOUCHED YOUR PLATE AGAIN, ROY COME ON JUST A LITTLE IT’S GOOD COME ON. OPEN UP IF YOU DON’T EAT, WE’LL HAVE TO FORCE-FEED YOU AGAIN PLEASE JUST A LITTLE POOR OLD ROY HE’S CHANGED SO IN LESS THAN A YEAR

HE WAS YOUR ASSIGNMENT, TED YOU DID THIS IS THAT WHY I’M NOT A THAT’S RIGHT YOU WERE AN ANGEL WITH A CHANCE TO HELP OTHERS BEYOND MORTAL IMAGINATION, BUT YOU PLACED YOURSELF AHEAD OF ALL THAT AND IN SO DOING, BROKE THE HEARTS OF OTHERS ISN’T THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO, NOT FOR MYSELF– I DESERVE WHATEVER HAPPENS TO ME– BUT FOR THEM, FOR ROY, FOR MY LAURA ISN’T THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO? IT WON’T BE EASY LAURA LOVES YOU YOU DID THAT YOU’LL HAVE TO UNDO IT OH, DEAR GOD PLEASE LET ME TRY PLEASE LET ME TRY [TELEPHONE RINGS] IT’S FOR YOU [RING] FOR ME? [RING] HELLO? TED, THANK GOODNESS YOU’RE THERE LAURA! YES. I CAME BACK, AND YOU WERE GONE I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED HOW DID YOU FIND ME? I DIDN’T. I JUST KEPT CALLING YOUR PLACE MY PLACE? TED? TED, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YES. YES, OF COURSE I HAD AN EMERGENCY I HAD TO TAKE CARE OF SOME BUSINESS MY FORMER BOSS CALLED I’M SORRY ABOUT ALL THIS WELL, THAT’S ALL RIGHT I UNDERSTAND WILL I SEE YOU TOMORROW? OH, YES OF COURSE GOOD. I HAVE SOMETHING I WANT TO TELL YOU, BUT NOT OVER THE PHONE ALL RIGHT OH. I’LL SEE YOU TOMORROW GOOD NIGHT GOOD NIGHT, LAURA THAN, HAVE YOU SEEN ROY? I WAS AT HIS PLACE AND THE GOLF COURSE HE’S GONE WHAT DO YOU MEAN, GONE? HE WENT INTO TOWN HE’S DROWNING HIS SORROWS AT THE EMPIRE BAR I’M HEADING THERE TO HAVE A TALK WITH HIM COULD YOU FIGURE OUT SOME EXCUSE TO GET LAURA THERE? THAT’S EASY. I’LL JUST TELL HER YOU’RE THERE YEAH THANKS BAR DOESN’T OPEN FOR ANOTHER FIVE MINUTES I’LL WAIT NOTHING MUCH TO DO NOW BUT WAIT HEY, LOOK WHO’S HERE OLD ROY GOT NOTHING TO SAY TO YOU I’VE GOT NEWS, ROY BOY NOT INTERESTED DON’T CALL ME THAT BARTENDER, A BOTTLE OF YOUR BEST CHAMPAGNE AND TWO GLASSES HERE DON’T GIVE ME A GLASS I’M NOT DRINKING WITH THIS BUZZARD WON’T YOU DRINK TO MY SUCCESS? I’M NOT DRINKING TO YOUR ANYTHING I’M DRINKING TO GET DRUNK WHAT SUCCESS, YOU ASK? I DON’T WANT TO KNOW PLEASE, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE I’M GOING TO MARRY LAURA SWANN WHAT? NO HARD FEELINGS THE BEST MAN WON HEY, THAT OLD WOMAN’S GOT BUCKS DIDN’T I TELL YOU? THE OLD BIDDY SOLD HER HOUSE IN WOODMERE, RICH TOWN UP NORTH I’LL BET SHE’S MADE A BUNDLE OH, YES SIREE, ROY BOY, I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO MARRY A RICH DAME I SHOULD HAVE SEEN THROUGH YOU– TELLING ME TO ACT LIKE A BIG SHOT, ORDERING OYSTERS NAMED AFTER A VICE PRESIDENT NEVER FELT RIGHT, BUT I TRUSTED YOU IT WAS ALL IN GOOD SPORT I CAME HOME WITH THE TROPHY, THAT’S ALL THAT’S WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT LAURA? SHE’S ONE OF THE MOST SENSITIVE, LOVELY WOMEN ON EARTH, AND YOU ACT LIKE SHE’S SOME TOURNAMENT TROPHY OK, YOU DUPED ME BUT I’M NOT LETTING YOU DUPE LAURA

I RESPECT HER TOO MUCH TO LET A SNAKE LIKE YOU MARRY HER WILL YOU SNITCH ON YOUR OLD BUDDY? SHE WOULDN’T BELIEVE YOU SHE’D THINK YOU WERE LYING BECAUSE YOU’RE IN LOVE THAT OLD BIDDY IS WRAPPED AROUND MY FINGERS THAT DOES IT I MAY BE A POOR, RETIRED POSTAL WORKER, BUT I’M BETTER THAN YOU LAURA’S TOO WONDERFUL FOR EITHER ONE OF US I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THAT BUT I DO KNOW HE’S NOT MARRYING ME FOR MONEY FIRST OF ALL, I DON’T HAVE THAT KIND OF MONEY AND SECONDLY, TED THIS OLD BIDDY REJECTS YOUR MARRIAGE PROPOSAL WOULD YOU TAKE ME HOME, MR. SMITH? HERE YOU GO SEE IF THIS ICE HELPS AH, THANKS THAT WAS QUITE A RIGHT HAND YOU THREW, PARTNER I LAST THREW IT IN 1928 IT DIDN’T HURT THIS MUCH THEN [DOORBELL RINGS] I’LL GET IT OH, MR. SMITH IS ROY HERE? SURE. COME ON IN HELLO, ROY LAURA I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU FOR STANDING UP FOR ME IN FRONT OF TED SIMPSON AH, HE MADE ME MAD, LAURA ME, TOO I’M SORRY I GOT ANGRY AND POPPED HIM ONE I THINK YOU HANDLED IT VERY WELL YOU DID? YES, I DID WELL, THANKS AGAIN LAURA? YES? LOOK, I I KNOW I I MEAN YOU SUPPOSE YOU COULD HAVE DINNER WITH ME TONIGHT? NO OYSTERS NO OYSTERS. YOU DO YOUR OWN ORDERING AND I PROMISE I’LL JUST BE WHO I REALLY AM I COULDN’T ASK FOR ANYTHING MORE SEE YOU AT 7:00 SHE LIKES ME SHE LIKES ME! NO OYSTERS ROCKEFELLER? THANK HEAVENS HELLO, TED JONATHAN, MARK WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? OH, DON’T WORRY I JUST WANT TO SEE LAURA ONCE MORE SHE’S HAPPY I CAN SEE IT IN HER EYES SHE’S HAPPY NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TO ME NOW, THAT MAKES EVERYTHING ALRIGHT [TELEPHONE RINGS] IT’S FOR YOU ME? YES? OH, YES, OF COURSE I DO YES, I KNOW THAT YOU BET I WILL! JONATHAN, I GOT AN ASSIGNMENT! I GOT AN ASSIGNMENT! SO DO WE COME ON. LET’S GO