【English Sub】If I Can Love You So – EP 44 如果可以这样爱 44 | Melodrama Chinese Drama

I so want to find you To lightly touch your face I will open both of my hands To gently caress your back Please let me have your Lost time Before you cry I will be the one to keep your tears Even if the world stands in front of me, and wildly say That I should stop being extravagant and wasteful If I Can Love You So Episode 44 I was moved after listening to him, so I promised him I would This guy can really speak in circles I don’t know why but I always feel sorry for him I don’t know why but I always feel sorry for him Even though he has a lot of money, he hasn’t a single loved one Orphaned and lonely What’s the use if you have so much money? Jinyi, how much do you remember about your past before you were adopted by your dad? Why are you suddenly asking about this? I’m just curious When he took me out of the orphanage, I wasn’t six yet Plus, I was sickly as a child Every time I was really sick, I’d be sent off somewhere I don’t remember a lot of it and I don’t want to remember it It’s better to let all of those unhappy times pass People always need to look forward That’s the right idea. People need to look forward But Jinyi, you need to believe that loved ones would have an unexplainable attraction between them Why is the Earth round? Because God wanted to give separated loved ones a chance to meet again Kaoer? Is Frank here? He left early this morning Left? Where did he go? He said he’s going back to Hongjiang. Tomorrow is the second anniversary of his mother’s passing Hongjiang I got it. Thank you Then, do you want to come in for a bit? No, it’s okay. You can get back to whatever you were doing – Okay then take care – All right Should I call him? Mom! Mom, I’m home! Why are you home? – Dad – You didn’t even call Aiya, she’s coming back to her own home. Why does she have to call? It’s great that you’re back I bought a lot of groceries today. I’ll make some food soon Why did you buy groceries? Do you have a guest? Shuli’s coming for dinner He said he wanted to come visit – Qi Shuli is coming to eat? – Yes That’s good, I’m looking for him to talk about something You’re looking for me? Aunt, Uncle Why are you looking for me? Let’s talk somewhere else – Okay, how about we take a walk by the lake? – Yes The weather is getting colder. I bought some tonics – This – Jeez Why do you need to do this? Thank you You just got back and Mom, I have something to discuss with him. We’ll be back in a bit – Come home early, okay? – Yes Why are you looking at me? Do I have crap on my face? Can’t you speak nicely? – Seriously – Jeez Doctor Zhang CEO Han What a coincidence. When did you get back? I’ve been back for two days You’re here Yingzhi and I are meeting for dinner

To talk about the kid – Then I’ll get going – Okay Doctor Zhang, can I take a few minutes of your time? You’re saying the person Yingzhi likes isn’t you? Then who is it? This is Yingzhi’s private matter. I’m not too sure It’s also awkward for me to ask That’s true. It would be awkward to ask I’m really sorry, CEO Han. I’ve had this misunderstanding about you for so long – I’m really embarrassed – It’s nothing Actually, I thought about it for a long time before I decided to tell you Thank you I can see that you still love her very much Since you love her, don’t let go As long as Yingzhi doesn’t start a family with anyone else, I won’t give up That’s good. I have things I need to do. I’ll be leaving now Goodbye Stay as you are If it really isn’t working, then let Dan Dan come back Let him get a real Chinese education. Otherwise, he might not be able to speak Chinese anymore Don’t misunderstand. I don’t have any other meaning behind this I’m just saying What’s wrong? Is something on your mind? Uh, it might be that lately, there’s been a lot of pressure Because of Geng Mochi’s heart donor? Right Did you see Qi Shuli? Is he willing to share the donor’s information? I’m sorry I shouldn’t ask you these things I forgot. Doctors have their own rules to follow – I won’t ask anymore – It’s fine Yingzhi, on my way here I ran into Han Zhi We talked for a bit I think I misunderstood the feelings between the two of you Then can you tell me who it is that you really like? Or if that person even knows that you like him? Has he promised you anything? Yingzhi, can you be more pragmatic about your feelings? If you can start a new relationship, or have feelings that are worth it, then I would give up No one else needs to be involved in my matters. I’m an adult and I can be responsible for myself Love isn’t a fruit on a tree that you can just pick when you feel like it There are people who had to pay with their everything, even their life, just for this love Your average person can’t bear this type of love I admire these people, but admiration is just admiration I don’t want the people by my side, which is you, end up in flames because of a love like that It’s not that it is worthless, but it will make others feel bad for you. I care for you! What exactly are you trying to say? What do you think about Qi Shuli? Let’s talk about Qi Shuli What did you say? You want me to give you the donor’s information? Yes We urgently need the donor’s information If Geng Mochi doesn’t undergo a heart transplant soon, there’s no chance to save him then Frank, I know I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you that day I was wrong. Please don’t lower down to my level Regretting it now? I’m sorry You can scold me all you want As long as you give me the donor’s information, I’ll work like an ox or a horse (work extremely hard) even into the afterlife There’s no hope in this lifetime, so don’t talk about an afterlife You don’t need to say all of this to me Don’t say there isn’t, even if there was, I wouldn’t tell you who it is – It exists – No, it doesn’t – There is! – It’s fake. I’m telling you, it’s fake! It’s real, Doctor Zhang said it was real Zhang I gave Doctor Zhang the materials you gave me He said… the donor exists Frank, I beg you to tell us Mochi is so young. He shouldn’t go just like that Then who should live and who should die? That’s his fate! I’m not God, I can’t save him I also don’t want to save him! The worst thing to have happened to me in this lifetime

is to have met a malefic like him I hate him so much! Because of him, you refuse to directly look at me Because of him, you’ve ignored everything that I’ve done for you these past years Save him? Why should I save him? Frank Don’t touch me! You want me to save him? No way! I know anything I say right now won’t remove the prejudice you have against Geng Mochi I can understand your position But it’s a human life As long as you save Geng Mochi, I’ll agree to any of your requests Even what you said back then, I’ll do it What are you actually saying? As long as you give us the real donor information, I’m willing to marry you and go back to the U.S. with you What did you say? You’ll marry me? Save Mochi and I’ll marry you. I’ll do what I say Bai Kaoer, because of him, you would denigrate yourself?! Bai Kaoer, because of him, you would denigrate yourself? You would use marriage as a transaction? You’re the one who wants to use marriage as a transaction Initially, it was you who made this a condition I didn’t agree then, but I am agreeing now. Can’t I?! I want to slap you so hard right now! I’m begging you As long as Geng Mochi can live, even if we don’t see each other from now on, I’ll accept it I swear I won’t think about him again. I’ll behave and go back to the U.S. with you, and honestly live my life. He’ll live his, and I’ll live mine I swear I will treasure our marriage I’m not playing games. Believe me, Frank Shut up, Bai Kaoer! Don’t say anything else You’ve hurt me completely! I can’t have you in my life anymore Look at everything you said When I said all those things that day, I was just trying to tempt you I wanted to see if you are rational You rejected me. Good It means you’re still rational. It means you’re not willing to use marriage as a transaction just for that god damn love! Now, you’re negotiating with me? You aren’t denigrating yourself, you’re denigrating me! Frank, I’m not denigrating you You are denigrating me! What right do you have to be confidently negotiating with me? Huh? Could it be if I told you to sleep with me now, you would do it without any reservations? Would you?! Isn’t this denigration?! Bai Kaoer Bai Kaoer, I’m not an iron wall My heart is made of flesh, too You can’t treat me like this You can’t treat me like this over and over; again and again You’ve hurt my heart, yet you still want it to be as good as ever? How is that possible? That night, every word you said was like a knife’s cut that went straight through me Now, you want to talk about transactions? Bai Kaoer, do you want me to die? Would you even notice if I die? You can’t see it. You can’t see anything You don’t see me No matter how much I beg, he won’t agree It’s all my fault, I shouldn’t have fought with him before I’m the one who made the situation like this Jinyi, what should we do?

If he doesn’t provide the donor information, does that mean there’s nothing else we can do? I don’t think there’s another way if he doesn’t give us the donor information But Sister-in-law, you shouldn’t have used marriage as a deal for an unknown heart donor That isn’t right Let’s talk about what my brother would do first if he knew, but Brother Qi wouldn’t agree to it, either I think you underestimated his character He’s the one who brought it up before I thought he would agree Sister-in-law, stabilize your emotions first. Don’t start thinking nonsense And even more so, don’t get too anxious. It won’t help How can I not be anxious? It’s so hard to find hope in this situation. I can’t just give up on it! You’re right I probably underestimated his character He’s actually quite a good man Before, because of Mochi’s sickness, I got too worried I treated him too poorly Tomorrow, I’ll talk to him properly Don’t fight Even more so, don’t blackmail him or talk about transactions Brother Qi’s personality and style aren’t that low Anyway, I’ve always felt that he’s compassionate deep inside Right now, since he’s still angry, he’ll probably be a bit tough After he’s calmed down, maybe it’ll be different Okay, I’ll do what you say Why are you just staring off into space here? Darwin, are there any train tickets to Hongjiang right now? – To Hongjiang? You want to go there? – Yes Why do you want to go to Hongjiang? Don’t ask. I just need to go You’re going to go find Qi Shuli, too? Kaoer already went and still hasn’t come back yet Because of this, Mochi is pissed off, blaming me for letting her go to Hongjiang alone But Brother Qi rejected Kaoer So? You’re going to look for Qi Shuli? If he’s rejected Kaoer would he agree to you? But if I don’t try how would I know? Darwin, it’s still the same words As long as there’s hope, none of us can give up It’s just a train ticket What reason do you have to think that if you go, there’s hope? I don’t know if there’s hope But I just feel like Brother Qi isn’t a person with an evil heart He wouldn’t just watch as someone dies I’ve known him for about two to three years now I trust my intuition Jinyi, you can’t really rely on female intuition I’m just going to see him, not climb a mountain of blades or jump into a sea of fire Look after my brother if there are no more tickets tonight, I’ll go tomorrow morning. Okay? I’m going to go home and pack No, no. Hey, Jinyi! If you need anything call my mobile Wait, what’s going on? Frank, Frank can we talk? We have nothing to talk about and let’s not see each other anymore Frank, I’m sorry Yesterday, I shouldn’t have thought so poorly of you I don’t need you to prove my character My head was a mess yesterday It’s only because I was so messed up in my head that I would say those things Can you consider it again? Please, I beg you Stop begging me. It’s no use Frank, I’m begging you Please don’t rush to reject me Geng Mochi doesn’t have any time left. Only you can save him Take your hand off me Get away from me How much? 10 RMB a pair. ($1.50 USD) Let me pay Milan, come back with me and turn yourself in This is your only chance to make it up How long are you going to persist in going about things the wrong way? Let’s not talk about how you’ve injured me You’ve switched Kaoer’s medication Right now, Geng Mochi and Kaoer have jointly sued you Do you think by hiding here you can escape the legal punishments? You can hide temporarily, but can you hide an entire lifetime? If it had only been switching Kaoer’s medication to harmless vitamins, then forget it But what you’ve switched it to was a medication that would mess up her mental health Where was your conscience when you were switching the medication?

Where was your humanity? Right now, Qi Shuli’s already filed a police report The cops are looking for you everywhere Go back with me right now to turn yourself in In court, there’s a chance they could still go easy on you I’m not going. I won’t go I don’t want to go to jail. In this lifetime, I don’t want to go to jail Why are you here? Trying to lecture me? All of you think I’m wrong! Where was I wrong?! It’s all of you who forced me to be like this! All these years, I’ve endured so much bitterness and suffered so much Have any of you ever pitied me?! All of you said I did wrong, I did wrong, but what have I done wrong? The biggest mistake you made was to blame others for your own misfortunes! You think everything that happened is because everyone else is trying to punish you? The only one punishing yourself is you! That caretaker has already surrendered She’s already told them everything If the cops catch you right now, then the rest of your life is ruined! Milan, I understand your misfortunes Fate might have indeed been unfair to you But I can’t watch you keep falling deeper and deeper Think about your future and your mom If you die suddenly, how do you expect her to go on? I… Wh-What should I do? What should I do? Tell me, what should I do, Luo Hao? I don’t want to go to jail I really don’t want to go to jail What should I do? Hello? Lan Lan, just come back They’re all here Who? The police Come. Let’s go inside Jie This will be the last time I’m here to see you The travel is too far, so I won’t be coming back You all don’t need to think about me too much We are all family We will meet sooner or later Mom This is Jinyi who is also Xiao Jing I finally found her Twenty years… It’s been twenty years I’ve found her Xiao Jing Can you just call her Mom? She’s been missing you Mom, I am Xiao Jing I came back to see you Mom I promised you Now, Xiao Jing is back

Older Brother Qi, I don’t know why but she feels like she is my mother We are indeed one family Police Police We’re already here, so you shouldn’t hesitate anymore I have said this before Even if the whole world leaves you, I will never leave you Even if there is no love between us now, even if our current positions aren’t the same, I will not ignore you I hope this place will be a new chapter When facing desperate straits, Bai Kaoer faced them staunchly You said you will never lose out to her I believe you can do it Police Station Older Brother Qi, how did you lose Xiao Jing? Xiao Jing was only three years old when she came to our home After living with us for two years, my mother gave her away to a couple who raised bees behind our back You know, beekeepers move around a lot I went to find them but I couldn’t anymore Did you have other matters to discuss with me? You’re referring to the heart donor information? Isn’t it? Older Brother Qi, although I would very much like to save my brother, I think no one can pressure you on this To save or not to save, that’s a decision your heart has to make My heart No one truly understands my heart Just like these few years, I confessed my thoughts and feelings countless times towards Kaoer, but she’s always been indifferent What’s most helpless is my heart It’s not that I am not willing to save Geng Mochi, but I can’t bear to lose Kaoer When it comes to feelings, everyone is selfish I have loved Kaoer all these years. I can’t bear to lose her But I have decided to change my mind If and I mean if you are really my younger sister, I will thank Geng Mochi and his family All these years, they are the ones who gave you a stable home and brought you up Just this alone is enough for me to give my all Just this alone is enough for me to give my all I’m not trying to deceive anyone. This is what I really think If I didn’t think this way, then my life would be more painful I’m just one person, no relatives To put it bluntly, if I suddenly die one day, there wouldn’t be anyone to bury or cremate me I’m sorry about the way I said it Please understand my feelings I do understand and I am very willing to be your younger sister Good. We are a family then Jinyi, thank you With you saying that, I can die without regrets – You are going to the hospital like that? – Yes Your hair is not even dry yet Don’t worry. It will dry in a short while Mochi will throw a tantrum as he has not seen me in two days Luo Hao called just now He said Milan has turned herself in Is that right? This matter can finally be resolved Kaoer, are you still suing her? I don’t have any energy to consider this. I’ve let Huang Zhong handle it There’s a matter I need to tell you

What matter? It’s related to Milan and I only just found out Are you telling me the truth? Luo Hao said he asked his friend to check the court documents and this matter indeed happened Those criminals are still in jail Why didn’t she tell us about a huge matter like that? When women encounter such matters, how many would be willing to speak out? So she went crazy and sought revenge against us It does look like it Welcome. Come in Take care Not bad. It’s not bad at all I am so glad to see you having a fresh start Yingzhi was right. You really do understand how to live better than us When a person has lived a bit longer, they’d know what they want What to let go and what to pursue Are you able to let go of Milan? What happened to Milan should be blamed on me I didn’t think it through. It was snowing so hard that day I should have realized it would be dangerous for a woman to go home that late at night I was having too much fun, who knew For her to carry this on her own isn’t easy Honestly, I sympathize with what happened to her This would destroy any girl if this happened to them She kept this from us because she was afraid we would look down on her But she has done many cruel things herself Towards me and to Mochi So I find it hard to forgive her What you mean is Let the law handle this Everyone has to face the consequences of what they do She is the only one who can save herself I agree with what Kaoer is saying We were too forgiving of her before, which lead to her being indulged too much Compassion creates more compassion What she needs to bear, she’ll have to bear Doctor Zhang – Dr. Zhang – You are all here How are you feeling today? Same as always Not bad It’s more stable – I think I should be able to share good news with you all – What? Qi Shuli agreed to give us the donor information Really? He said this to me himself It’s the truth Mochi, you can be saved Who’s the donor? I can’t reveal that to you. Based on conventional medical knowledge about organ transplants, donors don’t generally have contact with the person receiving the donation Moreover, the hospital can’t divulge who the donor is And the donor would not take the initiative to meet us Mochi, it was right for us to stick with it I’ve always said Older Brother Qi is a good person He wouldn’t see someone dying and not try to save them I will personally go thank him You two nemesis have been fighting for so many years, yet the one to actually save you in the end turns out to be him Frank

– You’re back – Yes – Good morning – Good morning Without the fence, it looks good You think so, too? You once lost your temper with me here It’s actually very convenient Have you eaten breakfast? Yes Your mood isn’t bad today The weather isn’t bad today Yeah This feeling is so nice To be able to slowly walk with you in this secluded and peaceful road feels really good I so wish there’s no end to this road The two of us could walk forward together, continuously walking forward Frank Kaoer. I know you came to find me because you wanted to tell me something Actually, for everything I’ve done for you, I’m not looking for any kind of thanks As long as you know that all the things I have done was all for your good, that’s enough for me Of course, I know I knew all along It’s just that there’s no way for me to return that same affection to you Actually, it’s not that there’s no affection After all, we’ve gotten along together for so many years But all that isn’t the same as love It’s fine I’ve known all this for a long time now I’ve already let go Just like… how I didn’t force myself to love another woman whom I don’t love I also don’t have any way to force you to accept my love Actually, humans are quite pitiful animals We appear to have wisdom, emotions, but in the end, there are so many things that we can’t control For example, love For example, fate But Frank, I should still thank you Not only were you willing to rescue Geng Mochi, you also took care of me all these years You made me understand so many things You taught me how to forgive and helped me get stronger Was I really such an important person? Why am I just realizing that now? Aside from Geng Mochi, you are the most important man in my life I will never deny that So many times, it was you who saved me Even though I misunderstood you many times, and we even fell out with one another, aren’t relationships between people just like that? Geng Mochi and I also separated and reunited so many times Hearing you say that… is gratifying So in your heart, I’m an important person It’s been like that all along Sometimes, I thought you were a scoundrel I hated you But there were also times when I thought you were so good to me My bad temperaments were all because you spoiled me I don’t have a way to repay you I often blamed you What about now? I don’t have anything to give to you

I can’t repay your kindness You could just tell me you’ll give your body to me All right Look at you, crying one minute and smiling the next You’re looking like a stray cat now Frank May I hug you? I’m sorry I can only give you a hug Turned around and left Before you had woken up If I can love you so after many years Even if I must be honest with myself Whether my heart is here all these years We agreed this was how we‘d end it All the good that I owed you All the fights that we had Even if there’s no going back All the love still remains No matter who’s hand I’m holding tomorrow Or who I’ll leave with next Even if there’s no going back All the love still remains If I realized the present back then Would I still be leaving today? If with leaving All the love still remains Those years, those things, and also the love All the good that I owed you All the fights that we had Even if there’s no going back All the love still remains No matter who’s hand I’m holding tomorrow Or who I’ll leave with next Even if there’s no going back All the love still remains If I realized the present back then Would I still be leaving today? Even if there’s no going back All the love still remains No matter who’s hand I’m holding tomorrow Or who I’ll leave with next Even if there’s no going back All the love still remains If I realized the present back then Would I still be leaving today?